Well, here I sit….I know how to lose weight…I’ve done it before. I do it every time I put my mind to it. So, the question becomes….”Why don’t I keep doing it and what makes me put it back on when I stop doing it?” The answer….”Because I’m dieting!” It’s been hard to admit to myself….but I’m dieting. I’ve always said how this was a change of lifestyle and how I need to do it for the long haul. But, I’ve been dieting….and dieting NEVER works. I know how to eat. I know what to eat. I know that I need to exercise. I know that I need to be more active other than deliberate exercise….so why is it that I’ve been taking so long to do it? The reason….I’ve actually been doing right without knowing it.
See, here’s the thing. All this time that I’ve been doing this site….I’ve been working on the inside without knowing it. I’ve shared my tips and what I’ve been doing to lose the weight and it does work. I did Weight Watchers for many years off and on and the truth is….it works. It does. But my site has dealt more with the “Why?” of it. And, therein lies the key! Without knowing it….I’ve been working on the “Why?” the whole time! It may have been slower than I thought it should take, but I’ve been working on it. And, as I look through my old posts, I realize how far I’ve come. Back in 2003 when I first started this, I was a MESS!!! I mean a MESS!!! No one will ever truly know what I used to do and say to myself back then. Only God and I know. And, believe me, it’s best that way. It was bad and the site was in desperation to try to pull myself out of it. Now, here I sit…..FAR better than I was and FINALLY realizing that in order to TRULY fix it….I have to find out the “Why?” and begin to truly heal it. It’s hard, but I’m willing.
Think about it…..let’s take Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig. The are diet clubs…..you pay your money to go to meetings. One you have to buy their food…the other “suggests” you buy their food…either at the meetings or in the grocery store….either way…they are selling a product…..and they are NOT cheap. You weigh in before the meeting and you keep a record of the weigh ins. In the meeting, you talk about different things…but nothing never truly delving into the “Why?” of your weight. Over time, the meetings are not cheap and the success of keeping it off is not that good. If it was….why do you have so many people “starting over” so many times?
The “diets”…like Atkins, Zone, South Beach, Mediterranean….or whatever you may choose. They work. They all do…..if you follow it. But, the MINUTE you go off of them….you gain it back…..plus some. And, to have to tell yourself that you CAN’T eat something?!!! Are you serious?!!!!! If you tell me that, it’s just like putting it under a big spotlight, wrapping it in a chocolate bow and putting the words “Eat Me!” on it….oh it’s the first thing I’m going for!
Let’s move on to the weight loss surgeries before I start salivating. Well, the surgeries work. You do lose the weight. But, you can still gain the weight back….and sometimes even more. Not to mention you have now altered your body. You still have to watch what you eat and exercise….or you WILL GAIN IT BACK! You never truly get into the “Why?” of why you are big in the first place.
The ONLY way to lose weight is to eat fewer calories than you are burning. That’s it….that’s all! That’s the key to physical weight loss. That’s all you need to know to lose weight….it’s ALWAYS calories in vs. calories out. It’s not brain surgery….you don’t need a doctorate to figure it out. If you eat more than you burn….YOU GAIN WEIGHT.
So, it still remains….Why? Why do you eat more calories than you are exercising off? The answer is different for everyone. It is as unique as our fingerprint. No “diet” works the same for everyone….your metabolism is different, your body is different, you like different foods….your mindset is different.
In trying to figure out my “Why?”….I came across Overeaters Anonymous. So far….so good. But, it’s still new. It’s a couple of things that I like and dislike about it. Like sometimes I like that you don’t comment on the person’s share (when they speak about whatever it is they are going through). Then other times, I’m the type of person that wants the feedback to what I just said….maybe I’m wrong….maybe there’s another way to think about it….maybe there’s something that I didn’t think about and you have the answer for me. I want that answer. I love the fact that it’s not just big folks. They welcome bulimics and anorexics too. I like the fact that they don’t tell you what to eat. Being “sober” to them means you simply don’t eat compulsively (in my meaning….binge). And, you do NOT weigh in!!! THANK GOD!!! One quote that I loved was a guy said, “Around here, weight loss is a benefit…but, we work on healing the mind.” LOVE IT!!!! But, the jury is still out on OA. I’m still doing the phone meetings and I’m thinking about going to a face-to-face meeting this week sometime. I’ll report back how that goes, or if I go or not. If you know me, you know how compulsive I am. 
So, you know OA will NOT be the only thing I’m doing to search for my “Why?”. And, you know I’ll be sharing all I do here!
Anyway, that’s what I’m on now. I’m trying to figure out the “Why?”.. I’ve been doing it here without knowing it and now that I know it….I’m ready to do it! I’m ready to change my relationship with food and let it nourish my body, as God intended, and make it quit nourishing my soul. Here we go….
Until later….
It’s hard to let go of someone that you really love and that was your best friend for 8 years. 
Anyway, I need to move on from that.
I’ve had a bronchial infection of some sort and it went on for 2 freggin’ weeks! 
So, for a while, I’ve been battling that. And, it had me on my butt! 
So, WATCH OUT DERE NOW! 
For the last few days, it’s really been crazy. I just eat and eat and eat. I’m not going to get on the scale because I’m scared that it will throw me off worse. 
And, I’ve been having a little pity party for myself. 
But, you know what….a few minutes ago, I had to remind myself to “Stay in the solution!” and it popped me out of it! 
So, I’m back and I’m PISSED!!!! 
Tomorrow will be my first day back and I’m READY!!!!!! 
Try stopping me and watch what happens!!!
Anyway, Aldi had avocados on sale and then I saw the recipe on Oprah and I thought it was fate! 
Ok, well not fate, but it just clicked that I would love to try it. 
And, my goodness it was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good!!!! 
Just look at it….
Now, I have to go through every box to see what I need to keep and what I can give to charity. And, it’s a LOT! Someone come and help a sista out! The door will be open for ya!