How I feel today:

This is one of the reasons that I love me now.  I used to sing this first to the man that I loved at the time.  Then, when that died out and we broke up…I changed up a few words and began to sing it to God.  That made me feel even more love for God.  Then, I thought about and would sometimes sing the real words and began to sing it to myself.  And, at that point….I began to cry.  I began to cry because I realized that I didn’t really love me.  I hated that feeling.  But, I took that and began to sing this to myself more and more.  And, before I knew it…..I began to believe it.  And, I would begin to get a mirror and sing it too myself with all my heart.  I would cry because I truly meant it.  This is my favorite song of all times!!!!!!

Until later….

How I feel today:

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Until later….

How I feel today:

This might take a minute or two to load depending on your internet connection speed, so just please be patient.

Until later….

How I feel today:

This might take a minute or two to load depending on your internet connection speed, so just please be patient.

Until later….

How I feel today:

Whoaaaaaaaa!!!  Slow down the world for a sec! I’ve been soooooo busy ’til it’s crazy! But, it’s not gonna stop me! I just have to pick it up and move on!  So I’m still here…..I’m working on a loooooooooooooong video.  I just have to edit it and post it.  So, hopefully I will have them here today. 
Until later….

How I feel today:

Ok, so here we go.  At first I was doing Weight Watchers.  They change so much until I got tired of it, so then I switched to counting calories.  Well now, I’ve come back to Weight Watchers….but not the current one.  I’m back doing the one that REALLY worked for me…..the Winning Points!  I figure like this….Weight Watchers is a business and the more then “slow down” weight loss, the more money they make.  So, I would do it too from a business standpoint.  I mean, on Winning Points I got 32-37 points…and lost weight at a steady rate…then with this new Momentum plan, I got 44 points. Now, if 1 point is roughly 50 calories.  That meant that I got an ADDITIONAL 600 calories PER DAY!  Someone please explain how that works.  Go ahead…..I’ll wait. 

So, I have OCD…and having that OCD, I don’t do good with specific numbers.  Let me explain this.  If you tell me that I have 32-37 points….calories….anything…..THAT’S what I strive for.  And, if I don’t make it…..I feel like I’ve failed a little.  But, that range is obtainable.  Now…if you say I have 44 points….calories….whatever…..THAT’S what I strive for.  And, if I do 43 or 45….anything but that 44…..I feel like I’ve failed a little.  And, that range of 32-37 is so much more realistic to me….than ONE specific number.  So, in order for me to make it happen, I feel like I need to go back to worked for me.  So, that’s what I’m going to try to do.

I originally lost 150 pounds with the first plan….and then I went along with all the changes that WW (Weight Watchers) made and I lost less and less weight with all of the changes they do.  Then it clicked to me…..WW is a business….and I need to look at it like that.    So, I’m going to do an experiment and go back to what originally worked and see how it works again. So, I guess we’ll all see the progress. 
Until later….

How I feel today:

So, the pain was still bad and it woke me up out of my sleep this morning and I was in tears. So, I called my dentist and he told me to come in because he thought that I had a “dry socket”. So, naturally I got really scared because my sister is a dental assistant and she said that if it was a dry socket that I would probably want to jump off a bridge because it was going to hurt so bad. So it scared me to death. But, when I got there, he said that is was not a dry socket and it was just trauma because the blood clot was still there. He gave me more pain medication and some antibiotics. So, although I still hurt really bad…I’m so thankful it’s not a dry socket. I stopped and got some yogurt so that I won’t get a yeast infection from the antibiotic. So, I’m hopeful that the pain will stop sometime soon.

Until later….

How I feel today:

I’ve been MIA for days….well….after I left the Mo’Nique show taping on Thursday, I had a toothache. It didn’t really get bad until Friday evening. Then I swear Satan was digging in my tooth with a pitch fork he held in fire for 2000 hours! At least that’s what it felt like.

About 2 months ago, I had a cavity filled and she said she saw the root. She just filled it and told me it would have to come out. So, I knew I would have to get it pulled one day…but that woman said it might be 2 years from now. Well so much for that! Needless to say, my other dentist was closed when it got bad. So, I started doping myself up with everything from Aleve, Advil, Hydrocodone and anything else that I thought would work. Finally I took some Motrin 800 and it helped some….so I just kept dealing with the pain and waiting for today to get the wisdom tooth pulled. I woke up this morning and ran to the dentist. He pulled it.

It was really rough because the roots of my tooth were curved and touched at the bottom. And, in doing that, the roots made a half circle. The nerve he had to get was in that half circle. And, we didn’t find this out until I kept feeling excruciating pain when he pulled. He cut the tooth in half and then shot me in between the split. I came up out of the chair and he said, “That’s the sweet spot!” I wanted to cuss him out. I know him personally so it would have been ok, just not very professional. Anyway, once he hit the nerve, and it was numb….I didn’t care what he did to me, and it came right out.  For some hours, I felt NO PAIN! 

Now I sit here, mouth wide open….and probably slobbing! It still hurts like hell, but this is a different type of hurt. This hurt hurts down in the bone, but I’ll take that from the sharp stabbing pain of the tooth. This weekend was ridiculously awful and I hope to NEVER feel that pain again!!!!

I’m rambling on because I’ve had nothing but Cream of Wheat to eat since Friday and dammit I’m mad! lol I can’t wait to be out of pain AND eat real food and y’all pray for me that this heals quick before I go and throw a rock through some random person’s windshield!

Until later….

How I feel today:

One of my dreams came true today!  I met Mo’Nique. That’s was not one of my dreams though. One of my dreams was to tell people how much they affected my life. She was one of them. I have a LOT of confidence now right? Well she is one of the reasons. She is THE reason that I love me even without losing the weight. Well, she’s taping her new talk show for BET here in Atlanta. I went to one tonight. After all was over, I met her. I pulled her to the side so that I could tell her. I told her that she made me begin to love me. She hugged me so tight and I could not stop crying. As she was hugging me, I told her “Thank you for giving me, me!” She said, “Oh baby! You just don’t know what you did for ME!!! Thank you baby!” and hugged me so tight for so long....literally 2 minutes she held me as I cried like a little baby on her shoulder. She started crying too. She said that she was going to come to my next party and she made me promise to go and work out with her. She is so down to Earth and I thank God that lived for the day that she knew that she changed my life forever.

I’m going through a lot and I started not to even go….and who knew that I would touch the person that help make me?

Wow!!!!

Until later….