Dear Diary,

I am so proud of me.  I sometimes do only .5 miles on the elliptical trainer, but today, I walked 2 miles up and down hills.  I was over to Eric’s house today.  (by the way, shuddap, I know I’m a punk for going to see him )  But it turned out to be a true blessing.  I needed a new food journal and I went to one of the meetings.  I don’t normally do meetings because I just cant see paying someone $12 a week just for them to weigh me.  Some people need the support of a personal group, but I get my support here and on the WW support board, so I don’t normally attend a meeting unless I need some supplies.  Anyway, Eric went with me and I got totally inspired to do some sort of exercise.  Well, he lives near Stone Mountain here in Georgia and he is used to walking it.  Now, Eric is no skinny minny, but that big ass boy got hella energy.  He’s the one that can dance all damn night long.  Anyway, I told him that I wanted to walk the trail and he said he would do it with me.  So, we went back to his house and he changed clothes and we went to the park.  I’m thinking this would be kind of easy.  Well, fuck no!!! This is a street divided for biking, walking and cars.  One lane is a one way for the cars, and the other lane is divided in half for the bicycles and walkers, or you can just walk on the side walk.  As soon as you go up one hill, you are going down another just to go up another.  It was like that the entire way.  It was so hard.  They have markers on the ground on the trail.  I was so happy when I got to the 1/2 mile mark.  Because I knew that we would have to walk back and that would total one mile.  Then, being the crazy person I am, I said that we could keep going.  What the fuck was I thinking.  So, I agreed to go to the 1 mile walk thinking that he would walk back by himself and go get the car and come pick me up.  He wouldn’t.  He started boosting me up to do it and walk back too.  He knew how much this meant to me.  He knew that I wanted to do this for myself and he wouldn’t let me quit.  He began to play with me and flirt, and act like he was trying to get me to go home with him.  That tickled me for a minute, then came the uphill part and I told him to shut the hell up so I could concentrate.  I was so damn tired, I had to take off my jewelry because it began to irritate me.  Then, to top it off, I was cold.  So, he took off his jacket and gave it to me to put on.  I did.  Then I got hot.  It irritated me more being hot, so I told him I was hot and he took the jacket off for me.  I couldn’t lift my arms.  It puzzled me that my triceps were burning.  I was not using my arms at all, but they began to burn.  Then, the whole time, my hips burned so bad.  He started massaging them as I was walking, but then that irritated me too, so I told him to quit.  Then, we got close to the end, and the huge hill was in front of me. Now, when we were going down this hill, I said, “Shit, I’m so glad we are going down instead of coming up!” Now here we were finna go up it.  Oh, I called on the Lord for strength big time.  Then, about 1/4 of the way up, I realized I would really have to push myself.  I began to use Beezie’s saying and I began to cuss the hill out.  I looked at the hill and said, “You ain’t nothing but a lil’ bitch!  I’m finna take my dick out and fuck tha shit out of you!  You don’t scare me!  I can do this and got damn it, you are not gonna stop me!”  Eric turned around and said, “Um, you ok?  You ain’t got no dick! You need to see the man with the pen and pad!”  I told him this is how I talk to psych myself up so that I can finish my workouts.  He was like.  Then he started talking about his Army days and he started saying caters.  I would say them with him and it actually worked.  It really did give me a little energy.  Then, when we could see the car, I stopped and gave him a hug and told him thank you for pushing me and being here with me.  This was a major milestone for me.  And, if someone was not there giving me that extra push, I might not have finished it.  I am so proud of myself.  I’m taking out 2003 with a bang!!!!!  This is a major victory for me! 

I gained 2.8 pounds this week.  I don’t know why, but after today, I don’t really care.  This more than makes up for it.  And, I kind of deserved it after Christmas.  Thank the Lord, the holidays are OVER!!!!  Now, it should be the way it should have been and the weight just beginning to fall off. 

Well, I hope everyone has a Happy New Year.  I’m not sure if I will be able to post tomorrow.  I have a lot of stuff to do again, and I’m going to a party to bring in the New Year.  So, just in case I don’t.  Thank y’all for the total support you have been giving me and helping me make it through 2003.  And, I will see you next year!!!