I's married now Ceelie
Dear Diary,
Well, I did it. I’m married to me. 
I figure like this. I know how much effort I put into my relationships with men. Now, it’s my turn to put that much effort into myself. 
It’s high time that I love me like I normally love someone else. I need to put me first like I always put other people. So, today, I am marrying myself. I have a wedding ring that I will never take off again. Wanna see?
That’s it….that’s my wedding ring to myself. Isn’t it purty? I’m never-ever going to take it off. 
The ceremony was beautiful. I was casual and didn’t dress up. In fact, I just sat at my computer desk with only a pair of pants on and married myself. And yes, I was crying like a baby. 
But, you know what, every time I look at my ring, I will know that I mean a hell of a lot to me. And it is my new commitment to myself to do this and become a better me. Here are my vows from my inner healthier self to my outer unhappier self….
| “Mikki, I love you more than life it’s self. I know that it is hard to believe, but I would give my life to save yours. Here I sit, within you, a healthier, happier person. I see your struggle to get to me. You can do it. I know you can. And, with this ring, I vow to stay with you every step you take….with every bite. Losing the weight is just a miniscule portion of becoming me. You have a lot of work to do, and I believe in you. I know you can do it. I’m giving you this ring as a mere token that you ARE worth it. Wear it proud. If anyone asks what it is for, tell them I gave it to you to show how much I love you. Mikki, I am you. You are me. We are one even in the afterlife. The extra that you are carrying around doesn’t define us. You mean so much more than that. Even if you don’t lose another ounce, and gain a million pounds, I will love you just the same. I wish I could show you how I feel. I wish you could feel this way for just 10 minutes. You would never give up. I know you…and I know how bad you want this. You can do it, I know you will. Look at this ring often and I pray it reminds you that I whole heartedly believe in you. I love you Mikki!” |
All those are happy tears. I say stuff and mean it like that to people I love and dammit, it’s about time I said it and meant it to myself. 
Today is a wonderful day! 
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